All I want is to play hockey on the Ice Knights, instead, Iâ€™m in a viral video for all the wrong reasons and my momâ€”yes, my momâ€”has taken over my dating apps. Then, when I think it canâ€™t get any worse, the fates deliver Zara Ambrose, a five-feet-nothing redhead with more freckles than inches and whoâ€™d rather be anywhere other than on a date with me.
Now a bet with her friends and my PR nightmare have us both stuck in this go-on-five-dates-with-the-same-person hell situation. But if we band together, we can get the whole thing over with and go on with our lives. Itâ€™s perfect! No feelings. No future. No fucâ€” *ahem* fun. No naked fun.
What could go wrong? Nothingâ€”as long as I remember the rules. Donâ€™t notice the way she looks in a dress. Donâ€™t react when she does that little shivery sigh thing whenever we touch. Donâ€™t think about the fact that sheâ€™s never had a toe-curling orgasm that wasnâ€™t self-delivered and just how badly I want to change that.
Five datesâ€”thatâ€™s itâ€”and then we go our separate ways. At least, that was the plan...